


Circles Somewhere Else

by hourglassmermaid



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Developing Relationship, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, F/M, First Dates, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Introspection, M/M, POV Maryse Lightwood, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 06:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14130171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hourglassmermaid/pseuds/hourglassmermaid
Summary: Even from across the crowded restaurant, the unrestrained sound of her oldest son’s laughter rang crystal clear. She scanned the room and spotted him sitting at a small, private table in the back. He was accompanied by a man Maryse had become increasingly familiar with during the last year.Maryse reached into her pocketbook and drew out her stele to discreetly activate her heightened hearing rune.“What?” Alec asked, voice light as he settled down from the laughing spell.“I can’t take you anywhere without you making a mess,” Magnus teased, “You got aioli on your nose.”As one relationship comes to an end, another begins to blossom for Maryse. While out on a date with Luke, Maryse finds herself in the same restaurant as Magnus and Alec. She takes the opportunity to observe her son's softer side and comes to an important realization.





	Circles Somewhere Else

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've had this story finished and sitting in my computer for months, but I only remembered it after last night's episode (3x02, watch it if you haven't yet because it's amazing!!) because the plot of this fic is pretty similar to the Saia & Clace double date, except with Malec & Maruke. What can you do~~
> 
> I kind of really love Maryse after her redemption arc, and I'm super excited to see her and Luke together this season. I also think she has a pretty interesting yet complicated relationship with Alec, and I wanted to explore that a bit. 
> 
> Title comes from [ Anchor by Novo Amor ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmKAn8rNbKg)

Maryse Lightwood was weary of change. She had been reckless in her youth, joining a rebellion that was supposed to usher in a golden age for the Nephilim but only brought devastation in its wake. Ever since, Maryse was content with complacency. Doing her duty. Behaving poised and proper in public. Not questioning orders, even when she knew in her heart they were wrong. All because of her crippling fear that she could slip back into that dark place at any time. That if she diverged from the expected path, even slightly, there would be disastrous consequences. She had to remain the perfect, loyal soldier. The stakes were too high.

But then there was Robert. He never seemed to pay any mind to their past indiscretions. The rest of the Clave seemed to have forgotten their insubordination, so he would too. But Maryse never forgot what they did. Not a day went by where she wasn’t reminded of their actions by the insidious guilt pooling in her gut, building until it was strong enough to eat her alive. Maryse would never forget. She couldn’t. 

Robert slept fine at night knowing they had slaughtered, guided by a twisted platform built on prejudice. Maybe he didn’t care. Or maybe he just blamed Maryse. Whatever the reason, she knew he wasn’t bothered where she was haunted. 

And it was Robert’s indifference in all aspects of their life together that lead to his latest transgression. Why she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him without hyperventilating — and no, it wasn’t because he took her breath away. Why she insisted on sleeping in their spare bedroom — when Robert actually decided to come home for the night. Why she always felt so pathetic and unlovable. 

Because Robert didn’t love her anymore, maybe he never had. He was in love with Annmarie. Maryse’s marriage was over. She had failed as a wife, a lover, a companion. Honestly, she was failing as a mother, as well. Her youngest only associated her with fighting. Her daughter was in recovery for drug addiction. She let her adopted son think he was a burden. And her relationship with her oldest was crumbling more and more with each passing hour. Soon there would be nothing left but fragmented memories. 

Perhaps it was wise of Robert to move on. It seemed as though Maryse was incapable of bringing another person happiness. 

All the more reason she should've declined this evening. She should've said no. But Lucian wore her down, and truth be told, she wanted to see if something was there. Just a simple spark to remind her she was alive, remind her what she was fighting for. It was selfish, really. She was inevitably going to bring down Lucian after prostituting his kindness for her own peace of mind.

Maryse reached into the jewelry box sitting on her vanity, a gift from her mother, and selected a simple pair of pearl earrings, classy and understated. As she fastened them to her ears, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't like what she saw. She looked as tired as she felt in her bones. Where smile lines once lived, crows feet now protruded from the corners of her eyes. The bags under her eyes could be mistaken for bruises. It wasn’t surprising considering she hadn’t slept through the night in weeks.

Maryse reached into her makeup bag and selected a pot of concealer. She dabbed some of the peach toned color corrector under her eyes where her exhaustion was the most conspicuous. The makeup helped a little bit, she supposed. Maryse pulled out a tube of mascara and curled the wand through her lashes, lengthening and volumizing. Better. She added some rouge to the apples of her cheeks, bringing some color into her lifeless face. She fished around in her bag for her favorite spice colored lipstick and applied it to her lips as soon as she located it. She blotted with a tissue and took stock of her appearance in the mirror once again. She obviously wasn’t at her best, but it was something. Lucian deserved so much more than this, so much more than her, but it would have to do for the evening. 

Maryse reached back into her jewelry box and decided on a sleek gold bracelet. As she wrapped the band around her wrist, she caught sight of the wedding rune etched into her skin. She stilled momentarily. The rune meant nothing at this point, nothing but betrayal and failure. Robert made his choice, and Maryse made her’s. She ungracefully dumped all of the contents of her makeup bag onto the vanity table and frantically searched for what she was looking for. Once she found the tube, she squirted far more concealer than necessary onto the rune and blended it out as best she could. Sure, she could’ve cast a glamour to cover the mark, but Maryse was desperate to hide the tainted reminder as quickly as possible. If she stared at it too long, she would break, and there was no time for her to cry — Lucian was due to pick her up at any moment. Besides, sometimes it calmed her mind to do things the mundane way. 

A knock at the door alerted her she had a visitor. Maryse shut her eyes and took a deep breath, counting to eight. She exhaled and opened her eyes. She stood and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress before answering the door. She crafted her best happy face and greeted her guest. 

“Lucian. Lovely to see you. You’re looking very handsome this evening,” Maryse said. 

It was true. He was wearing a dark blue shirt and black slacks that matched his black blazer. He looked elegant in a way Maryse hadn’t expected. Whether that was due to her misconceptions about mundane police officers or her prejudices about downworlders she was trying to work on, Maryse wasn’t exactly sure. She was sure, however, that Lucian Graymark had aged remarkably well since she knew him in Idris. 

“You look beautiful, as always, Maryse,” Luke said with a warm smile. “Shall we?” he asked, offering Maryse his arm.

“Of course,” she said, taking it. The gesture felt nice, safe, it stirred something deep inside of her. A feeling she couldn’t quite place. 

He lead her through the Institute towards the front doors. She caught the stares of a few shadowhunters, but they all had the courtesy to look away as soon as they locked eyes with her. By now, everyone knew Robert was leaving her, but they likely didn’t expect Maryse to rebound with a downworlder. It seemed as though her children were rubbing off on her. 

With that thought in mind, Maryse scanned the rest of the ops center for her children. To her relief, she didn’t spot any of them. Of course they knew about the impending divorce, but she hadn’t told them she decided to start dating again. Likewise, Luke wasn’t ready to tell Clary yet. He worried she’d think it was too soon after Jocelyn’s death. They had agreed to tell their kids after their first date. No use in concerning them if the evening turned out to be nothing but two old friends catching up. 

Lucian held the door open for her as they exited the Institute. The bitter night air sent a chill through her body, and Maryse shivered. Luke wrapped an arm around her, resting his hand near her shoulder. She was pulled a bit closer to him, sending a rush of warmth through her. And not just from his body heat.

“Cold?” he asked, and Maryse nodded. Experimentally, she rested her head on his shoulder as they walked. 

“It’s been unseasonably warm in Alicante as of late. I guess it slipped my mind how cold New York can be in the fall,” she said. 

“Well, hopefully dinner will help warm you up,” he said as he opened the passenger side door of his SUV for her. Maryse climbed inside, and he gently shut the car door as soon as she was settled. 

Luke jogged around to the driver’s side and hopped in the vehicle. He started the ignition, and they set off towards the restaurant. 

Maryse felt like a teenager; although, not like herself as a teenager. She spent her teenage years learning all the ways to kill a man with her bare hands, not trying on bubblegum lip gloss or sneaking around with boys. That was for mundane women, mundane girls. Not angelic soldiers like Maryse, but it might be nice to pretend. At least for one night. Something about Lucian made her want to pretend. 

Maryse realized she had been quiet for too long. Lucian might mistake her silence for disinterest, which was the furthest feeling from the truth. “Where are we going for dinner?” she asked in an attempt to cut the tension. 

“This new tapas bar down in Flatbush that Magnus recommended,” Luke answered without taking his eyes off of the road.

Maryse’s heart sunk. “Sounds delightful. Magnus always seems to keep up with the latest trends," she said.

Spain. Barcelona. Lucian couldn't have known, and even if he did, perhaps he didn't know the connection. He couldn't have known about that night. How her and Robert laughed and danced and talked for hours over a plate of paella and a bottle of cava. How he took her into his arms and told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world. A lie. How he got down on one knee and offered her the Lightwood family ring, promising no one would ever take her place in his heart. The worst lie.

“Yeah, uh, he’s a really happening guy,” Luke said. Maryse heard him mutter something under his breath, but she didn’t question him about it. It seemed private.

“Quite,” was all she said in response. 

The rest of the ride to the restaurant was spent in silence aside from the usual New York white noise. Once they arrived at the restaurant, Maryse sat back, impressed, as Luke skillfully maneuvered his car into a tight parking spot.

“I hate driving in New York,” he muttered as he extended a hand out to Maryse, helping her step out of the car. 

Maryse laughed. “Have you driven anywhere else?” Idris didn’t support cars, and as far as Maryse was aware, Luke hadn’t lived anywhere besides New York and Alicante.

“No, I guess I just hate driving in general,” he said with a chuckle. That must be difficult for a police officer. 

They walked inside, and Luke gave the hostess the name for their reservation. The restaurant was moderately busy for a weekday evening, filled with couples and groups of friends. Maryse liked the atmosphere. It was cozy, intimate. The effect was heightened by the earth tone color palette and dim lighting.

Maryse felt like she could disappear here for awhile. Forget about her failed marriage and strained relationships. The stress of her angelic duty. Just for the night, just for one night. She wanted to lose herself in the soft music and ethnic food. Let everything but her company melt away. 

Luke pulled out a chair for her when they arrived at their table. Once they were settled, they poured over the menu, planning out their evening meal. Maryse sought out the least authentic options possible. She didn’t want to order anything reminiscent of her last visit to Spain. Luckily, Luke seemed content to go along with whatever she wanted. Maryse wasn’t used to that. It was nice. 

However, her thoughts were interrupted by a sound she would know anywhere. Even from across the crowded restaurant, the unrestrained sound of her oldest son’s laughter rang crystal clear. She scanned the room and spotted him sitting at a small, private table in the back. He was accompanied by a man Maryse had become increasingly familiar with during the last year. 

Maryse reached into her pocketbook and drew out her stele to discreetly activate her heightened hearing rune. 

“What?” Alec asked, voice light as he settled down from the laughing spell.

“I can’t take you anywhere without you making a mess,” Magnus teased, “You got aioli on your nose.” Magnus reached up and wiped away the spot with his thumb. In one fluid motion, Alec caught Magnus’ wrist and pressed a soft kiss to Magnus’ palm, eyes sparkling with adoration. 

Maryse had never seen this side of her son before. Alec was always so stoic and reserved in public. She had raised him to control his emotions, to never let anyone else see what he was thinking or feeling. In a fight, that cold calculation would save his life. In politics, it would allow him climb through the ranks and become the leader she had groomed him to be. 

Emotional control was a virtue, or at least that’s what all shadowhunters were taught to believe. But after everything that happened in her life, Maryse wasn’t so sure anymore. 

A year ago she would’ve been disappointed to see her son express his affection so openly, now she was just relieved to know that her and Robert hadn’t sucked out all of the warmth and love from him. That they hadn’t emotionally stunted him. Maryse was learning that maybe expressing your emotions showed strength not weakness. And if that was the case, her son was one of the most courageous men she knew. 

“Maryse, Maryse?” Luke waved his hand a bit trying to regain her attention. He looked at her with a confused expression. She must’ve been drawn away for too long. “Is everything okay?” he asked, expression shifting to concern. 

“Yes, it’s just… Well, Magnus seems to have recommended this place based on personal experience,” she said, and before Luke could ask his next question, she nonchalantly gestured towards Magnus and Alec’s table with her eyes. 

Luke followed her gaze but quickly turned his attention back to their own table after spotting the other couple. “Oh, geez, Maryse, I’m sorry. Do you wanna get out of here before they see us? We can go somewhere else...”

She smiled, placing a comforting hand over his fidgeting ones before giving him a reassuring squeeze. “No, let’s stay. I never get to see him like this, so free and open. It’s nice.” 

He stilled his movements under her tender touch. “Are you sure? Cause it’s no problem if you wanna go somewhere else.” 

“I’m sure,” she said honestly, her eyes shifting back towards her son and his partner. “But my attention may be divided this evening, if that’s alright with you.”

Luke pushed back in his seat, staring at Maryse with a glimmer of regained confidence. “Just as long as I get your full attention on our next date,” he said, voice smooth like honey. 

Luke’s words sent a shiver through her. Maryse couldn’t remember the last time someone tried wooing her. She missed it, feeling wanted. Feeling like someone cared about her enough to chase her, win her, please her. Robert gave up on romancing her years ago, years before his betrayal, even. Luke was reminding her what it felt like to be desired. 

She tried playing it cool. “That could be arranged,” she replied, looking up at him from under her eyelashes. 

The moment was interrupted by the appearance of their waiter. He took their order before disappearing once again. Maryse looked forward to his returning with her sangria, she needed the drink to help ease her nerves. Luke excused himself to the restroom, and she seized the opportunity to hone back in on her son’s date. 

“Not that I don’t love your usual wardrobe, but you look exceptionally handsome tonight,” Magnus mused, leaning towards Alec as he spoke. 

It was true, and Maryse wasn’t just saying that because of her maternal bias. All shadowhunters wore dark, muted colors, but Alec had always taken this to the extreme, even as a child, choosing to wear only black — or as close to black as he could manage — at all times. Maryse always thought this was due to his dedication to the hunt, but after recent events, she started to think it was because Alec just wanted to blend in as much as possible. Fade away so no one would notice him. So no one would see the truth of what he was hiding. Maryse swallowed a lump in her throat at the thought.

But tonight Alec was wearing navy slacks and sleek brown brogues with a scarlet paisley button down that brought out flecks of green in his hazel eyes. Maryse hadn’t seen Alec wearing that much color since she dressed him as a child. 

She caught the faintest hint of a blush grace her son’s cheeks before he responded. “Really?” Alec asked, gripping lightly at the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous. 

“Really, you’re beautiful.” 

Alec smiled with his whole face, eyes crinkling at the corners and dimples poking through. “It’s because of you, you know. You’re helping me…” Alec made a vague hand gesture while he gathered his thoughts. “You’re helping me be more confident in myself.” 

“I’m glad to hear it, but it’s not me. Confidence comes from within yourself. It’s all you, Darling.” 

“Fine, but you make me feel comfortable enough to try new things. Like… I know you’d never judge me,” Alec said, shifting in his seat and resting his hand on the table.

Magnus took Alec’s hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Of course not,” Magnus reassured, voice tinged with urgency. 

“Growing up,” Alec started, pausing to take a deep breath. “I never felt like I could be myself, but Magnus, you’ve taught me that it’s okay to try new things… to experiment…”

Alec brought their interlocked hands up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to Magnus’ knuckles. Magnus seemed to melt into the touch, his face erupting into a smile that glowed so warm, it rivaled an early summer day. 

“Thank you,” Alec whispered, untangling their hands so he could caress Magnus’ cheek. 

Maryse had suspected before, but this evening confirmed, that her and Robert had failed Alec. When you have a child, your greatest wish is that you’ll raise them so they can grow up to be the best version of themselves possible. Alec had certainly grown into a man better than Maryse could have ever hoped for, but it had nothing to do with her and Robert. 

Alec flourished in spite of them, not because of them.

All her and Robert had succeeded in nurturing was a hostile environment that made Alec ashamed of himself. She certainly never hid her feelings about downworlders, and she likely made a homophobic comment or two or several in front of him while he was growing up. When he was still trying to figure out his identity. She made it so much worse. Made him feel like she wouldn’t accept him, love him. _By the Angel_ , made him hate himself. 

She was done. Done letting her old prejudices and feelings harm her son and push him further away. She loved him more than she ever thought she could love someone, and she resolved to never hurt him again. 

Maryse would forever be indebted to Magnus. For saving Alec, loving him, cherishing him. She would never be able to repay Magnus for everything he had done to fix what she had shattered. At his core, Magnus was an angel sent from heaven, regardless of his demonic parentage. 

Maryse would be better. To both of them, for both of them. 

“Everything alright, Maryse?” Luke asked, pulling out his chair and sitting back down. 

She hadn’t noticed his return, too wrapped up in her own introspection. She wouldn’t just be better for Alec and Magnus. She would be better for Luke, as well. If she was really going to get involved with him, then he deserved someone who would fully commit. Maryse was more than willing, she just needed to leap. 

“Sorry, I was eavesdropping again,” she said, “But I’m all yours now.” 

She had heard all that she needed to. She was ready to make a change. Wanted to make a change. In this short evening, Maryse had finally realized just how desperately she wanted to improve. Not for her own sake, but for the benefit of her loved ones. 

Luke chuckled. “I’m glad to hear it.” 

Their waiter arrived a moment later with their drinks and food. Maryse took a tentative sip from her glass. The sangria was strong but pleasant. She relished in the burn of the alcohol as it slid down her throat. Luke seemed satisfied with his beverage. A tall draft, nothing out of the ordinary.

The ate and talked, just enjoying each other’s company. At one point, Luke tried feeding Maryse a slice of flatbread, and her heart skipped a beat. Flirting like mundane teenagers.

Maryse was so enraptured by their private little world that she nearly forgot about Alec and Magnus. Well, she at least forgot about them until she heard a meek, “Mom?”

Maryse looked up and locked wide eyes with Alec. His hand rested on Magnus’ lower back, but he quickly lowered it when he realized she noticed the gesture. Maryse felt her heart pang in her chest. He was still afraid to show affection in front of her.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” he asked, eyes shifting across the table. “With Luke?”

Luke gave them an awkward little wave. “Hi guys.”

“Alec, Luke and I are…” Maryse paused, looking to Luke for confirmation. With his consent, she continued, “Dating.”

She liked the way it sounded out loud. _Dating_. She was dating again, not trapped in a loveless marriage. Dating a handsome, loyal man she definitely did not deserve.

Magnus and Alec exchanged confused glances before blurting out, “Oh?” and, “What?” respectively.

If Maryse was serious about changing, she had to start bringing her promises to life. This was the perfect opportunity to act. So, with one burst of confidence, Maryse got up out of her seat and hugged the two men to her, wrapping them in a warm embrace.

They seemed even more startled than before. She could feel their heartbeats hammering against her chest — in direct contrast to how they stilled at her touch.

After a moment, she pulled away slightly to look at them, but she kept her hands loosely resting on their shoulders. “I have done a very poor job at getting to know you, Magnus, and for that I am deeply sorry. You’re important to Alec, so you’re important to me. And I’m sorry I haven’t shown you that.” 

Stunned, Magnus said, "It's quite alright, Maryse."

Maryse shook her head. "No, it's not. I can't change my past actions, but I'd like to improve going forward. If it's alright with you two, I'd love for us to all go out together sometime."

Alec's eyes darted to Magnus, and Magnus shrugged in response. "Uh, sure, Mom," Alec said.

"Wonderful, she said, hugging them close once again and pressing a kiss to their cheeks. When she pulled away, she said, "Well, I shouldn’t keep you, I'm sure you have a lovely evening planned."

"Yeah, see you later, Mom," Alec said dazedly.

"Always a pleasure, Maryse," Magnus added.

As they left, Maryse heard Magnus whisper, "What was that about?" to which Alec answered, "I have no idea." 

After they exited the restaurant, Maryse took her seat.

She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she was ready to fight like hell to salvage her relationship with Alec, and that meant really getting to know Magnus. She was going to make mistakes, but she wouldn't make excuses. She had spent her whole life making excuses. She was ready to start owning up to her actions and finally make things right.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
> 
> If you want to scream at me more about Shadowhunters or Malec or anything else, come find me on [Tumblr](http://hourglassmermaid.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/izzylightbane)! I'd love to hear from you all!


End file.
